Selling The Drama

A tune by Live. I used to play a few of their tunes in this mainly R&B band. I say mainly because the thirst for gigs overtook any pretense of labeling. We did everything from serious jazz gigs to a weekly reggae gig. The jazz wasn't too much of a stretch but when we got the reggae gig (we were supposed to start in about 10 days) we busted ass learning as much Marley & Tosh as we could while reggae-fying old Marvin Gaye & Parliament tunes. In any case I've never been positive about what the song means, just that it seems to be about religion in some way. The title seems to lead me to think it's about the harm that religions can do on the mind of an individual but I could be very much mistaken. Here are the lyrics if you care to come to your own conclusions. Here's the vid to see how it comes together melodically.

I hate drama. What's odd is that I've done more than my share of work to create it in my life. Drama is unavoidable though (to some degree) because humans are social creatures & drama is a by-product of socialization. It's possible to minimize it but I don't think it's completely avoidable if you have any meaningful contact with other people. & that's a damn shame.

In any case I don't have too much drama in my own life at the moment, partly because my contact with others is at a minimum right now. Doing the hermit thing has its advantages. However there was some recently.

My ex-step-father sent me a letter in early January. Danny enclosed a money order for $50 & a hastily scribbled note about it being an x-mas present. Frankie used to send me $50 money orders for x-mas (when she'd not listen & send me something despite my wishes for her not to). She got the habit from Frank who would always give her $50 for x-mas. In fact last year while she was in the hospital (she got out on x-mas eve) she wrote a card that really fucked me up. Just that it was kind of sappy (coming from her) & she talked about Frank. Frank & her were really close - well as close as anyone in our family can be & it really tore her up when he died, so her talking about him was particularly emotional - at least as much as I've seen her get. & that she wrote it while laying up in a hospital kind of got to me.

In any case Danny sent me $50. So I cashed it & got a $50 money order & sent it back to him with a brief letter. I just said that I didn't wish him any harm but I didn't want him to contact me again. I didn't explain why figuring it'd be best to keep things simple.

Lisa called about a week later asking what I wrote to him. I told her & she then told me he had called her crying asking her what he'd done to me. She told him she didn't know but it was probably just my way of dealing with Frankie being gone. I talked with Maria a week or so later & she scolded me (in her own way - she told me my letter "wasn't very nice") about it.

I have always been a little quick to cut people out of my life. For some reason I always reasoned that my life wasn't going to be very long & I really didn't have time to waste with folks I didn't care for. (Conversely those I care about I would go to great lengths for if necessary, even after not speaking for considerable lengths of time). & Danny is an ass.

He's not one because he's mean, but more so because he's ignorant. The effect is the same but I never really hated him, I just didn't care to be around him. I got along with him okay though when Frankie was alive, especially the last few years of her life but that was for her more than anything.

Danny's done a few specific things over the years to me. He's made me feel unwelcome in his & Frankie's home; he snapped at me when she was dying reminding me tat she was his wife; he's ruined surprising by telling Frankie I was coming to see her, etc... & a few other more minor things. With Frankie being gone I just don't see any reason to waste my time dealing with him. & under those circumstances i really don't see it as being right for me to accept gifts from him.

Oh the other thing - Lisa called me a few months back & she was really upset. What upset her was Danny spending money left & right. I'm not talking a hundred here & there - he bought a $30,000 truck & was throwing hundreds around at some church auction to give some examples.

Frankie had cancer & went through two rounds of fighting it. I assumed that it had wiped them out. Danny used to tell me about the bills coming in & most were 5 digits with a few 6 digits ones landing in their mailbox. Cancer is expensive as hell.

But I assume that their insurance covered most of those bills & Frankie apparently had life insurance. I figured she had a pretty sizable 401k (she always worked hard - one of those things we all learned from Frank) but wrongly assumed that would go towards the left over medical bills.

I have no idea how much money Danny came into on Frankie's passing & I don't care too much to know. It doesn't bother me that he's never mentioned anything about giving me any of it - I'm not greedy or materialistic & despite my lack of wealth I prefer to make my way on my own.

What gets me is Lisa. Frankie raised her. What's more is that Lisa would often take off from work to take Frankie to the doctor or just be with her during chemo & other treatments. I was more a child of Jean & Frank's but Lisa was Frankie's. It gets to me that Danny hasn't mentioned a damn thing about giving her anything - not just money but anything that Frankie might have wanted her to have - pictures, jewelry, knick-knacks, books, etc...

So I threw a line in there about that in my letter to him.

Maria & I had talked about this a few days after Lisa called me being upset with Danny. Maria brushed it off by saying that Danny just wasn't ready to deal with settling Frankie's estate. My view is that if he wasn't ready to settle the estate he wouldn't be blowing cash.

But that's the family drama that I experienced in January. Nothing major or life altering, just mildly aggravating. Luckily though I think I'm out of that particular loop. I doubt Danny will get in touch again so the most I'll be effected is by listening to Lisa &/or Maria if anything concerning Danny comes up.

Still I do hate drama. It's time consuming & draining with little or no benefit to anyone concerned. That I have in the past contributed to drama is not something I'm proud of & I've always sought to avoid or minimize my role in such doings, but sometimes it cannot be helped.