The Difference Is Why

Lenny Kravitz. I never cared for him that much but there are a few tunes of his I'm in love with. The title of this post (The Difference Is Why) is an interesting one. Here's a band called Four Day Creep doing the tune. But there are two more that are deeper in my affection.

Rosemary. A very simple sweet little tune about a little girl who was abandoned & has nothing but her faith. I almost worked with a guy (helluva guitar player & singer) who did a real nice version of this tune so maybe that's what got me, but still it's nice enough that you should check it out if you’re inclined to very simple sweet little tunes. Alas Youtube let me down on this one so you'll have to scrounge for it yourself.

The other comes from my stripper days. No; I was never a stripper (except for that one semester in college but the refunds killed me) but I've been friends with strippers & was in a very pro-stripper band (which is kinda like being in a pro-car auto dealership).

The idea was whenever we hit a new town we'd scout out the closest strip bar or bars & get to know as many of the dancers as we could. But not for the reasons you think.

A bar sells drinks mainly to guys. So if you want to keep guys in a bar you either have to establish a He-Man woman hater's club or fill the joint with lovely & enticing young lasses. Strippers fit the latter (though it can lead to the urge to start the former) in spades. Or at least in very tall heels.

So if we'd get a dancer or two dozen to come hang out (that pun was unintentional - they were generally clothed at our gigs) we'd usually have a good night. Business wise that is. Bar business wise. I mean we sold a lot of drinks - & selling drinks indirectly is a band's main job. (Art? Isn’t he the VIP bartender???)

We even managed to land a gig at a strip club. 2 months every Friday & Saturday. Easiest gig of my disturbed life. We could fuck up numerous times in a row & as long as the drummer kept a steady beat (on the drums you pervs!) no one noticed. or cared. Not even us.

Then again that's about the same time I discovered the true nature of stripper drama (those chicks in high school were amateurs!) but that's a story hidden behind a few very carefully sets crafted mental blocks. I shall type of it no more lest the Day-mares come back.

Really I had some friends who were dancers & they were cool, but I was never infatuated with the concept. I got teased on about half my dates so paying a cover for it wasn't anything new, novel or exciting. I always thought it was kinda sad really - most dancers (but not all) developed a very bad attitude towards men in & out of the clubs. Can't say as I blame them considering their work environment but between that & the all-too-common drug/alcohol/Llama addictions it just wasn't my scene. So I had stripper friends but never really fell for one. At least a practicing stripper.

Anyway at a strip bar we used to hang at they played this one Kravitz tune with some frequency & it grew on me, & not just because of the very lovely dancer who used it in her routine. Again a very simple song (but not quite as simple as Rosemary mainly due to a mildly sophisticated bridge) about a guy on the road missing a girl who was not on the road.

Can't Get You Off My Mind. Here's the vid. Here's Kravitz doing it acoustic.

A sample of the lyrics:

"Life is just a lonely highway I'm out here on the open road
I'm old enough to see behind me But young enough to feel my soul
I don't wanna lose you baby And I don't wanna be alone
Don't wanna live my days without you But for now I've got to be without you
I've got a pocket full of money And pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of lovin' And I just can't get you off of my mind"

Now Ill be up front; I’m a guitarist. I’ve played a helluva lot of songs. Last time I tried it I spent a few hours & came up with about 500 tunes I could play off the top of my head. I don’t usually attach any special meaning to a song aside from what it creates itself. There are a few tunes that remind me of specific people or places but for the most part I just like songs for their own sake.

That being said this one doesn’t so much remind me of any specific lady, but how it feels to miss someone. When you play for a living you usually have to do some traveling. I sure as hell did & at times I miss it. But I recall how it felt to be gone for a few weeks when there was someone I wanted nothing more than to be with. I’m not on the road now (hell I’m not even gigging steady) & if I’m missing someone now that’s strictly between me & her but I still feel what this song was created by. That desire, that longing that you feel for someone you want to be with but circumstances prevent it. Its a helluva lot different than missing someone who doesn’t give a damn.

Lets look at the mildly sophisticated bridge:

"Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope tell me baby
What are the rules the reasons and the do's and don'ts
Tell me baby tell me baby
What do you feel inside? "

Course it doesn’t have the full effect w/o the music & melody but I don’t want this to turn into a music theory discussion. Besides as much as instrumentalists try to make it so a song is still about the words; what they say & what they make you feel.

This bridge typifies the frustration you feel. Or at least I’ve felt. The bottom line is that when you leave the presence of your lover there’s no guarantee that you’ll ever see them again. It’s a silly thing to fear but when you’re traveling its sort of amplified (or when there’s a longer than desirable absence). The song expresses a guy doubting if the other person feels the same, wants a clear explanation of what he should or shouldn’t do (guys are generally clueless about this kinda thing I know I sure as hell am) & asks how the hell she feels about him, them & the whole situation.

I doubt it’ll ever win a Grammy (it only reached #62 on the Billboard chart back in '95) but it does a good job of expressing what a guy feels when he misses someone he cares deeply for. & if you’re thinking the last part of the chorus is about sex, you damn right.

"But then I think of lovin' And I just can't get you off of my mind"

I hate to break this to y’all but guys tend to equate sex with love &/or security. A lot of guys look at it the wrong way that sex is the goal & only thing that matters. But I always viewed it as simply a very easy & reliable means of expressing desire. & that desire is the source of the seemingly idiotic & selfish stuff that we do.

See its not the sex itself. I mean its great & all, but its a means to an end, or an expression of being on the right path at least. When I want to have sex with a woman its not just because I’ve been grumpy & someone told me I should get laid (despite the frequency of that occurring). It’s because I feel some sort of desire from that woman & wish to feel a similar desire from her.

So that’s what I think Kravitz is trying to express that despite any & everything he could be doing when he feels that desire well up within him its only for her. I assume that her was/is Lisa Bonet (or Lilakoi Moon as she changed her name) as they had been on again off again for a long damn time, but it’s irrelevant.

What is relevant is that if you ever missed someone because of distance or other non-I don’t ever want to see you again related causes then this song doesn’t do a bad job of capturing that feeling, at least from a male perspective. Hell it might at least help you understand what some guy who you think is missing you is going through. Or just be a cute little tune you play on occasion.

Songs mean different things to different folks. Disagreements about meanings are expected & not something that particularly matters. What any of these songs means to you isn’t something I could correct you on. But for the helluvit give them a listen sometime & see what you think.