Same Old Lang Syne

Here's a vid of the Dan Fogelberg tune. It's sad but pretty.

Nothing from her, not that I expected to hear from her, but I still foolishly cling on to some hope.

From Dec 22nd till tonight I have only had Christmas off. On my days off they'd call me in cause I'm the only idiot that will consistently deliver in the snow. & granted it's fun cruising through the neighborhoods. Kind of like 4 wheeling with white mud.

The bigoted little misogynistic punk I ranted about a while back isn't there anymore so that's a plus. I'll explain some other time what happened.

New Years Eve hits me about as hard as my b-day when I'm alone. It sucks when there's no one to care for but it's worse when there is & she's not around. I'm not sure if we could reconcile - I mean it's possible if she wants to & I want to. The big question is if she'd ever want to & I'm not optimistic about her desiring me in her life in any capacity. I doubt she's had trouble moving on. Hell I doubt she'd even consider me anyone to have to move on from. She'd be quick to point out that we didn't have a commitment & we were just friends. The first part is true but not the latter; we were lovers in addition to friends. But I doubt arguing with her about definitions would do much good.

Funny, in 2006 I slept with 3 women; all of them having first names that begin with J. I could have slept with a 4th girl whose name started with J but I held back. Nothing against the other J's - they were are very sweet & beautiful & cool - but there's only one J I want & I'm afraid I don't even care to explore the other letters of the alphabet.

Maybe she'll be in touch before she goes back to school...