A Change Gonna Come

Sam Cooke. An appropriate title & an appropriate song for what I'm going to bitch about tonight. Here's the tune set to an appropriate slideshow.

Where I work there are four folks I don't care for. It's mutual. They'd vote me off the island in the first round & I'd let them. But one in particular is grating as hell. Because of him I thought seriously about getting fired tonight.

He's about 17 or 18. Good looking kid. Kinda scrawny. He's also borderline incompetent at his job, has no sense of personal responsibility & can generally be described as a punk. All that would be bearable except he's a bigot & misogynist.

Twice before he's uttered the "N" word quite loudly & conversationally. So twice before I've explained to him that it's not just an uncool thing for a punk-ass little white kid to be saying, but it could be perilous. A few others have had this chat with him as well.

A few weeks back he casually, in conversation called a young lady who works there a bitch. This particular young lady is one of the few people up there who actually works & I'm quite fond of her. So the boss stepped in front of me as I was heading towards him & the boss more or less cut me off.

Now let me preface this a bit. I'm not a very violent person. I do have a very bad & quick temper, but I've had the temper my whole life & I've worked very hard at controlling it. To tell ya the truth I'm kinda proud of how well I do control it. Most folks who piss me off usually don't realize it & I usually let a lot of things slide. Course being a smart ass takes up some of that slack but that's something else to talk about some other time.

So tonight I hear the little crusty minded punk drop the "N" bomb again. From across a very noisy room. First time I'd heard it from him in a month or more. Hell I thought our last chat about the matter had impressed upon him the importance of not being that disrespectful. But nope.

I actually stopped what I was doing for a moment before I spoke to him. I called his name out across the room & asked him what he said. He repeated the first part then said, "& that word that you don't like so I ain't gonna say it again".

What surprised me was I actually thought about it for a few seconds. Not his response but where to find another source of income. I thought this because it was entirely too tempting to grab his scrawny ass & give him a redneck -to-punk translation of "you done run off at the mouth too much".

I didn't. I restrained myself as I have done in the past But that I thought about it seriously for a second or two gave me pause.

I'm old. I'll be 35 in a few weeks. The kid is about half my age. He's probably got some speed & he's cocky enough that I don't think he's afraid of me. & I'm not a big macho "I'll kick everybody's ass while drinking a beer" type guy. I can count the number of fights I've gotten into on one hand & I generally don't like getting into them. But I can have a mean side & this punk wouldn't be any trouble at all. Worrying about my safety or the outcome of the confrontation didn't stop me.

Maybe it was the moral implication. In theory we're all supposed to be able to say whatever we wish without fear of torture so maybe I felt that it would just be wrong to physically correct the punk for being an idiot. Course back home when I was growing up a fight between two people over words was not uncommon. & it did have some societal value.

Whatever the reason though I doubt I'll lose control & take him to the woodshed. But damn if it ain't a tempting notion. & I don't like that it's a tempting notion.

Again I am not a bad ass of any type. Nor am I a bully (the punk is a few inches taller & probably within a few pounds of my weight). What I am is Southern. The neighborhood I grew up in was mostly black. Most of the bands I've been in I've been the only white guy. Hell some clubs I've played in I've been the only white guy in the room. I've been in places in my life where the bands would ask me to go in & tell them if it seemed safe for black folk. I've had run ins with klansmen & klansmen wannabes (more the latter than the former & nothing like the run ins that occurred in the 50's & 60's). I have one buddy who remembers me as the first (& as far as I know only) white guy he ever had over to his house for dinner (on the phone his wife called to him that "white Mike" was on the line).

I've also had some interesting moments with people who found out I was from the South & assumed I was a klansman. So maybe I'm just a bit culturally sensitive about things. But a punk who isn't even old enough to buy smokes that grew up in a middle class neighborhood in Colorado has no fucking business dropping the "N" word casually. Hell he's probably only seen images of black people.

I'll resolve this tomorrow though. I'm going to have a chat with the big boss & explain how proud I am of my restraint when the punk runs his mouth & how I'm not fond of being proud. I doubt it'll have any repercussions for me even though I know I'm going to phrase it roughly but there is a chance that I could get the axe over this (in a big company anything can happen no matter how nonsensical. Well especially if it's nonsensical.).

Still, this is the 21rst century. It still kind of bugs me that this kind of thing could happen. But then again it doesn't. Human nature hasn't really changed for a few thousand years & I doubt that streak will be broken in the next few hundred years.

But what will change is the punks vocabulary.