But I Don't Feel Retarded

Before I get into it a disclaimer; I have a cousin with Downs Syndrome. Therefore I have always been very conservative about using the word "retarded". I don't hold others to my standards but I try not to use it lightly. Just sayin'.

I thought this was interesting; I'm not an alcoholic because I'm some kind of idiot savant. That's a possible implication of what my optometrist told me.

I went for an eye exam a few weeks ago to renew my scrips for my contacts. I figured it'd be routine since my scrip hasn't changed in the past 8 years or so. Well the doc said that I need stronger glasses & contacts.

When he told me this I mentioned surprise that my vision hadn't changed since I got glasses. So he asked how old I was when I got my vision corrected initially & I told him around 26. he then "hmmm"ed for a second & said, "you don't like to read much do you?" which I told him that I was an avid reader. more "hmmm"ing. He then asked if I did well in school. I told him my worst GPA was a 3.33. Again with the fucking "hmmm" thing with a more definite note of surprise. I asked why he was asking & he said that people with my vision problems, when not corrected usually don't do well academically & don't like reading.

He explained that a certain portion of a persons brain is devoted to absorbing information, then a certain portion to storing then a certain portion to analyzing. with my vision he said my brain would spend several times more energy just absorbing information visually, therefore it would have less room for storage & analysis. In short I burned up too much mental fuel to understand what i read.

"Vision problems such as yours are closely associated with learning disabilities. it's amazing that you overcame that."

"so doc, you're saying I'm fuckin' Rainman???"

"I just find it very fascinating that you seem so knowledgeable about what we discussed earlier & that you enjoy reading."

"you are - you're saying I'm fuckin' Rainman!"

He then patted me on the head & offered me a shiny thing which I found irresistible for a few minutes.

No really; he implied that I should be much less informed than I am simply because I shouldn't have had the mental capacity to read as much as I did. That I should have been a "C" student & a white collar worker (more or less) because of my eyesight.

Another interesting thing was that he said my vision problems kept me from being addicted to alcohol or drugs. he asked if I drank or did drugs & I told him occasionally on the former & never on the latter. He said that because it took so much mental effort for me to read & learn things visually that early on I developed a dislike of being out of control, & drugs & alcohol weren't conducive to being in control. In other words that because I was so used to being so focused I didn't get that much of a kick out of being drunk or high therefore I never got addicted.

"so I'm fuckin' Rainman who can't hold his liquor?????"

In any case I called a pal of mine a while later. She's a doctor who specializes in teaching kids with learning disabilities. I told her what the optometrist said & she said it sounded plausible as she's seen similar things with some of her students. so i asked why the hell I liked to read when it was allegedly so difficult for me compared to other folks. She said it was because I was an over-achiever.

"so I'm fuckin' Rainman who can't hold his liquor & has a stubborn streak?????"

"Yep. Want a cookie or some Jello?"

For the record the last time my IQ was tested I landed in the lower 140's. I am not fuckin' Rainman. Damn it. Now if you'll excuse me I need to call my neighbor over to help me tie my shoes & feed me my Jello...